He also had one E in a mandatory subject that he really didn’t like.

I was touched by the mature and loving way in which she dealt with the situation. Most parents or grandparents who speak to me about their children’s grades, are usually so focused on the poor marks and how to improve it, that they don’t even seem to see the good marks.

Marcus Buckingham says:” Most children are characterized by the people who love them the most, by who the child isn’t, rather than who the child is.”

My friend, on the other hand, simply stated that as long as her grandson passed the subject at the end of the year, she wasn’t too concerned about the E. She would encourage him to work on it enough to pass, but she does not expect him to also score an A in it because it’s simply not his interest. She would much rather allow him to spend most of his time on the subjects that he likes and is good at.

Isn’t it time that as parents, we encourage our kids to spend most of their time on the subjects that they enjoy and are naturally good at, instead of only focusing on the poor marks and how to improve it?

Again, I’m not saying that we should ignore poor marks. But I doubt that we should expect our kids to spend most of their time on improving it.

To illustrate this principle, I want to share with you the following parable that I received from a good friend and colleague:

Once upon a time, the animals decided they should do something meaningful to meet the problems of the new world. So they organized a school.

They adopted an activity curriculum of running, climbing, swimming and flying. To make it easier to administer the curriculum, all the animals took all the subjects.

The duck was excellent in swimming in fact, better than his instructor. But he made only passing grades in flying, and was very poor in running. Since he was slow in running, he had to drop swimming and stay after school to practice running. This caused his web feet to be badly worn, so that he was only average in swimming. But average was quite acceptable, so nobody worried about that – except the duck.

The rabbit started at the top of his class in running, but developed a nervous twitch in his leg muscles because of so much make-up work in swimming.

The squirrel was excellent in climbing, but he encountered constant frustration in flying class because his teacher made him start from the ground up instead of from the treetop down. He developed “charlie horses” from overexertion, and so only got a C in climbing and a D in running.

The eagle was a problem child and was severely disciplined for being a non-conformist. In climbing classes he beat all the others to the top of the tree, but insisted on using his own way to get there …..

The obvious moral of the story is a simple one – each creature has its own set of capabilities in which it will naturally excel – unless it is expected or forced to to fill a mould that does not fit. When that happens, frustration, discouragement and even quilt bring overall mediocrity or complete defeat. A duck is a duck – and only a duck. It is built to swim, not to run or fly and certainly not to climb. A squirrel is a squirrel – and only that. To move it out of its forte, climbing, and then expect it to swim or fly will drive a squirrel mad. Eagles are beautiful creatures in the air but not in a foot race. The rabbit will win every time unless, of course, the eagle gets hungry!

Your talent is what motivates you! It could be called your “inward drive” or “determining principle” or “personal tendency”. It’s the way you’re wired up! Make it into a Strength and celebrate it!

Many people perceive happiness and fulfillment to be ever-elusive,  and they don’t know which steps to take that will lead them to it.

Our education, the way we are brought up and the field of psychology are based almost entirely on what is wrong with us.

So you start to analyze what is wrong with you. Other people are happy and fulfilled, so you reckon that there must be something wrong with you that is causing you to NOT feel happy and fulfilled. And you conclude that if you can fix what is wrong with you, you will have a better life or career and you will be happier and more fulfilled, right?

WRONG! Trying to fix what you (or other people) perceive to be wrong with you is not going to make you feel happier or more fulfilled. In focusing on fixing “weaknesses” you might experience small successes and even feel a little sense of achievement for a short while, but in the long run it will sap your energy and destroy your motivation.

What will help you to consistently feel happy and fulfilled is leading a life of purpose. A good place to start would be to focus on what is right with you and to start nurturing your talents. It means focusing on those things that you are naturally good at and that gives you energy. Only if you focus on nurturing and developing your talents, will you be able to turn them into strengths that will allow you to consistently experience “a state of being strong or powerful” in your career or personal life.

With that, I’m not suggesting that you should ignore the things that you are not so good at or your perceived weaknesses. Of course you have to manage them, (if they need managing for a successful career or life), but spend most of your time to nurture your natural talents so that you can turn them into strengths that will support you in leading a life of purpose. Your purpose.

In our January newsletter we discussed the importance of knowing, embracing and nurturing our talents and those of our employees.

For organizations, it is not only important to recruit the right kind of people with the appropriate skills, talents and competencies but it is just as important to keep employees engaged in order to ensure the highest level of productivity and performance.

In today’s article, we explore the “needs” that are important for employee engagement at various stages of their involvement with an organization.

Marcus Buckingham and Donald O.Clifton identify the following levels of employee engagement:

“What’s in it for me?”

When we first apply for or accept a new career opportunity, the first question we ask ourselves is “What’s in it for me?”

We look at things like salary, a company car, own office, recognition, flexible work hours, traveling, how long we will have to commute etc.

In addition, we want to understand what is expected of us and how we will know when we have done a good job. We also want to know whether we will have the materials and equipment necessary to perform our duties. For example: Where a sales director have to travel to various clients regularly to deliver presentations, he might want to know whether he will be given a company car, travel budget and laptop.

Then as we start to settle in a new role and we are satisfied with what we can get out of it, we enter a new level of engagement where we ask ourselves:

“What can I offer this organization?”

At this level we want to know whether we are doing a good job, whether other people also think that we are doing a good job and whether the work that we do is something that we can excel at. We want to know if someone notices our efforts and recognizes that we are doing a great job. If we are not doing a good job; will someone help? And when we do a good job, we want to know if there is someone that will encourage us to develop and grow within the organization.

Note: It is important to spend time on these first two levels and to ensure than all these needs are met. If you choose to ignore these needs, you are much more likely to “psychologically disengage” from what you do.

As we get to know our colleagues and we are satisfied that we are doing a great job, we start asking ourselves:

“Is this the right place for me? Do I fit in?”

At this level you might start to question whether your job is important to the overall strategy of the business and whether your opinions count.

Core values and talents become even more important here; You may be a very good team player committed to quality work but is everyone else in your group a good team player and committed to quality work? You may have hundreds of ideas, but feel that nobody cares to hear about them….

Once you get to the stage where you feel that you fit in and that your contributions and opinions are valued, you start to explore:

“How can I help everyone else to grow?”

At this level you are able to really be creative and innovative and implement your new ideas. If you ensure that the needs of all the previous levels have been met, you will now know what is expected of you, you will have confidence in your own expertise and you will know how your colleagues will accept or reject your new ideas.

I would like to end this article with the following quote from Buckingham and Clifton :“…..the key to building a strong, vibrant workplace lies in meeting employees needs at the first and second level. This is where you should focus your time and energy. If your employees’ lower-level needs remain unaddressed then everything you do for them further along the journey is almost irrelevant”

The fact is that we are all blessed with a unique combination of talents that make us special. All we have to do is to own our excellence. That is the catch! In order to fully live to your potential, you must acknowledge your greatness and all the reasons you are special.

Many of us are so busy trying to fix our weaknesses, that we completely forget about nurturing our talents. And we are not just doing it to ourselves, we are also doing it to other people. In organizations and in marriages for example, we focus on trying to fix people rather than identifying what their talents are and supporting and celebrating their excellence.

Don’t get me wrong… I’m not saying that you should ignore your weaknesses. That wouldn’t be realistic. In a job situation, it might get you fired and in a marriage situation it might get you divorced. But does it make sense to actively WORK on improving them? Wouldn’t it be better to learn how to manage your weaknesses and rather spend most of your time on nurturing and developing the things that you are naturally good at?

I belief that most of the really successful and happy people in the world are the ones that focus on their own talents and the talents of others. They learn how to identify and surround themselves with people who are strong in the areas where they are not so strong. They learn and use tools that help them to manage their “weaknesses”, instead of trying to fix it.

In 2011, I want to encourage you to discover your talents, learn to nurture them and find ways to manage your weaknesses. I bet you will live a much more relaxed, powerful and happy life.

What are you waiting for? Move forward towards a more fulfilling life!

With love and warm wishes,
Marja

Do you need assistance to discover your talents and to develop and implement strategies to nurture them? Click here to book a 15 minute FREE initial consultation to find out more about how we can assist you.

Until next time…

* Anywhere: because coaching is delivered online, you can work on your programme anywhere in the world where you have an internet connection or access to an internet café.
* Anytime: because your coaching programme is delivered to you online, you can access it anytime of the day or night no matter where in the world you are. No more need to coordinate calendars with your coach for 1-2-1 meetings via Skype/phone or face-to-face. (unless you selected one of our Gold programmes)
* Own private online workspace 24/7, 365 days a year – every client has his/her own private online workspace on a secured server, which is created when you sign up. Here you may keep your notes, documents, video clips and questions all neatly together in the same place. When you sign up for interactive online coaching, this is also the area where you and your coach will interact.
* Discreetly: because the programme has been developed to be delivered online, clients who are not ready to meet with a coach 1-to-1 in a Skype or face-to-face session, can now discreetly interact with their coach online. Or don’t even have to interact with a coach if they choose not to. Nobody has to know that you are getting coached or are coaching yourself.
* Lower rates: because this form of coaching does not require any 1-to-1 time, traveling etc. and thus require less of the coach’s time it can be delivered for much lower rates, making it affordable for more people.
* Forum: if you choose to, you may join our free forums to interact with other clients for additional support and to brainstorm and share ideas.
* Credit /debit card and PayPal payments possible: we have now made it easy for you to make secure online payments via PayPal. And you do not need a PayPal account yourself.

Read more about Online Coaching

It’s December and one of my favorite times of the year. This year, like most, has had its fair share of highs, lows, joys, sorrows, chills and thrills. November has been both a particularly challenging and exciting month in my life and business. On the down side: two family members passed on, two family members had accidents – one quite serious, one miscarriage and a couple of operations.  I was struggling to make business deadlines because I was not as productive as I would have liked to be. On the up side: I have been doing very exciting product development for CoachingMinds and some very interesting business opportunities and ideas emerged. So you see, it’s been an emotional, exciting, frustrating and exhilarating month – all at the same time. And I was thinking that maybe life was compacting my personal ups and downs into one very short space of 30 days to prepare me for something………..

And then early this morning, as I was sitting outside, meditating and breathing in the fresh air,  my heart just filled with gratitude — for my family, friends, a profession that allows me the time and resources to enjoy them…and of course all our clients, contacts, and colleagues.

Gratitude is like a cleansing agent for the soul. It moves us away from what we don’t have, to what we do have. The glass stops being half empty and is now half full. Gratitude takes the focus away from self and personal needs. Instead we look at what we have been given; we celebrate the goodness of others. Rather than living a life filled with stress, anxiety, and striving. Gratitude gently teaches us the truth that all life is a gift to be received and enjoyed.

So today, in this short newsletter, I want to encourage you to take a look at your life and appreciate all the things that is right. For just a short while, forget about all your problems – personal and professional challenges – and just focus on the many blessings and successes that you have already received and experienced.

I want to encourage you to make a list of 50 things that you love about life and that you are grateful for. Things like a loving and supportive spouse, beautiful healthy children, supportive family, a walk on the beach etc.

Just for one day, don’t set new goals, make new plans to achieve or to improve. Just for one day allow yourself some time to appreciate and enjoy what you have right now. For me, it’s always been a simple yet amazingly effective way to gain new clarity, passion and focus for the work that I do and the challenges that I need to face.

Wishing you all a blessed and happy festive season.

With love and warm wishes,

Marja

Until next time…

That’s right! In addition to our traditional one-to-one coaching programmes, we will be launching a few complete online coaching programmes for business and personal development within the next 6 weeks.

This means that coaching is delivered to you online in the comfort of your own home or office.

How does it work?

• Option 1:

  Online Self Coaching Programme: you sign up for a programme online, and work at your own pace from within your own virtual private space without coach interaction.

• Option 2:

  Online Interactive Coaching: you sign up for a programme online, and interact online with your coach from within your own virtual private space. No face-to-face or one-to-one Skype meetings included.

Benefits to you:

• Anywhere: because coaching is delivered online, you can work on your programme anywhere in the world where you have an internet connection or access to an internet café.
• Anytime: because your coaching programme is delivered to you online, you can access it anytime of the day or night no matter where in the world you are. No more need to coordinate calendars with your coach for 1-2-1 meetings via Skype or face-to-face.
• Own private online workspace – every client gets his/her own private online workspace on a secured server. Here you can keep your notes, documents, video clips and questions all neatly together in the same place. When you sign up for interactive online coaching, this is also the area where you and your coach will interact.
• Discreetly: because the programme has been developed to be delivered online, clients who are not ready to meet with a coach 1-to-1 in a Skype or face-to-face session, can now discreetly and interact with their coach online. Or don’t even have to interact with a coach if they choose not to. Nobody has to know that you are getting coached or are coaching yourself.
• Lower rates: because this form of coaching does not require any 1-to-1 time, traveling etc. and thus require less of the coach’s time it can be delivered for much lower rates, making it affordable for more people.
• Forum: if you choose to, you may join our free forums to interact with other clients for additional support and to brainstorm and share ideas.
• Credit /debit card and PayPal payments possible: we have now made it easy for you to make secure online payments via PayPal. And you do not need a PayPal account yourself.

Option 3:

Traditional 1-to-1 Skype or face-to-face sessions:

For our clients who prefer the traditional one-to-one sessions; they are still available when you sign up for one of the premium packages. The added advantage is that you sign up for a programme online, and interact with your coach online from within your own virtual private space plus have face-to-face or Skype meetings. In addition you will receive a link to my calendar where you can book your 1-to-1 sessions with me.

Watch this space for more information. A link to a video will soon be posted that will show you how it all works and what it looks like.

In the past three odd years of becoming parents, having moved continents, losing lots of money due to poor business decisions, starting and expanding a number of new businesses and trying to juggle hundreds of things at once, we have learned some valuable business and life lessons about “Working Smarter, Not Harder”

We have made some major changes to our business model that has enabled us to “Work Smarter. Not Harder” and thus free up more time for us to maintain a more balanced and healthy lifestyle.

Part of this process was revamping our website to assist our clients to also “Work Smarter. Not Harder”

The changes include:

• Our latest services, programmes and information to educate readers about how we can assist them.
  
• You can now read more about our approach, process and systems under the heading Methodologies.
• We have included a Tools page with links to useful business and educational tools to make your life as business owner easier, smarter and more cost effective.
  
• We have a download subscription where you can subscribe to receive interesting, inspiring, informative and useful Free downloads every month
• Watch this space for more info about our upcoming membership site and affiliate programme.

We always value constructive comments and suggestions – please feel free to share yours with us.

Committed to your continued success.

Warm regards

The CoachingMinds Team

Several months ago, I suffered from a very nasty drop in energy which eventually caused me to become physically ill.

How did I get myself into that state?

Well, I lost my balance. The harder I worked, the less effective I became because I was tired. When your energy level drops that low, you lose inspiration and creativity. You lose sight of your goals. Your actions are no longer aligned with what needs to be done to achieve your goals; they are just actions that keeps you busy. You get into fire-fighting mode.

And then, a couple of weeks later,  I met with a client who had lost everything that was really important to him (family, friends, spirituality, his successful business, money etc) because he lost his balance and didn’t recognize it in time to regain it.

And I realized; “This could be YOU if you don’t STOP and re-balance your life”

So, how did I regain my balance?

I re-focused on the most important things in my life: my health, family, friends, spirituality and recreation.

I created a Digital Vision Board and I booked an appointment with myself in my diary, for every morning and every evening, to “meditate” on my Vision Board and to live it! It’s amazing how that helps you to stay focused on what is important!

I created a template of a Digital Vision Board, which you can Download here for Free.

I spoke to people who inspired me and helped me to re-focus on my goals again.

I “forced” myself to take 5 days off and I did nothing but relax and spend time with family and friends.

The lesson that I’ve learned is that you have to keep a balance. More effort and longer hours DOES NOT necessarily lead to a better result.

Here is a story that I received from a friend (Anna Emm) about two men who went into the forest to cut wood.  Each tried his best to chop down more trees than the other during the course of the day.  The stronger one of the two kept chopping and chopping without taking a rest, while his friend stopped every now and then to sit down under the trees.  To the first man’s dismay, in spite of his hard work, his friend managed to cut down almost double the amount of wood by the end of the day.  “How did you do it?” he asked, “I saw you taking breaks and I did not stop at all?” His friend replied: “I only stopped to sharpen my ax.  Because my ax stayed sharp and yours became blunt, I was able to do more with less effort.”

Don’t allow your ax to become blunt. Put on those hiking boots and get out into nature with your family and friends or do whatever it takes for you to re-energize and re-balance. But just do it!

Do you need assistance to develop and implement strategies that will help you to Prioritize and re-balance your business and your life? Call Marja on 074 492 7222 for a 15 minute no-obligation discussion to find out more about how we can assist you.

Isn’t nature stunning? I received the images below in an email today and it made me think so much about our home in the Netherlands and the lessons that I have learned from observing the beauty and natural flow of nature.

I guess life and business are like beautiful rainbows; but it takes both rain and sunshine to make one. If life is to be rounded and many-colored, like a rainbow, both joy and sorrow must come to it.

If you give up when it’s winter, you will miss the promise of spring,
the beauty of  summer, and fulfillment of fall.” - Author Unknown

The following pictures are of the same place but taken at different seasons.

Moral
Don’t let the pain of one season destroy the joy of all the rest.
Don’t judge life by one difficult season.

Are you facing tough business challenges that are draining your energy and making you feel scared and alone? Then book your complementary 30 minute business change session to explore strategies that could safe your business.